What I've been avoiding
And why shame kept me quiet for months
I’m not kidding.
For months, I carried around my taxes like a weighted vest.
Not because I hadn’t started them.
Not because I hadn’t gathered the documents.
Not because I hadn’t sent everything to my CPA.
In fact, I had done all of that.
The problem started when my CPA emailed me back with a list of follow-up questions.
The moment I saw her email, I panicked.
Instead of calmly reading what she was asking, my nervous system went into fight or flight.
I immediately decided there was no way I could handle this ask in a timely fashion, filed an extension, closed my laptop and mentally shoved the entire thing into a corner.
And then I carried it.
For two more months.
As I sit here writing this, part of me wonders if I should even tell you this story.
Because if I leave it vague—and just talk about this as a generic to-do—you’ll probably nod along and think about your own unfinished task.
But if I tell you that this is about my taxes, a different voice appears.
The voice that asks:
Will people trust me less?
Will they think I’m irresponsible?
Will my competence as a business owner be questioned?
And that voice in my head is exactly why I am writing this.
Because shame thrives in isolation—and the story I’m most hesitant to tell is often the story that needs to be told the most.
Last night, my husband Brian and I were sitting at the dinner table while our boys played basketball outside.
My unfinished tax return came up again.
Every time he brought it up, I felt defensive.
Every time I thought about it, I felt overwhelmed.
Every time I opened the spreadsheet, I wanted to close it.
Finally, I said something out loud that was harder than doing the taxes themselves.
“I need help.”
These three words have always felt so difficult to say.
Maybe because I’m a founder.
Maybe because I’m the eldest daughter of an eldest daughter.
Maybe because somewhere along the way I was told capable women don’t need help.
But as soon as I spoke the words out loud, something unexpected happened.
The weight began to lift.
I pulled up the email from my CPA and started reading it to Brian.
As I read it aloud, I stopped.
“Wait a minute.”
I looked at him.
“I think I’ve been afraid of a problem she didn’t actually ask me to solve.”
How many times have you done this?
Created an issue in your mind that didn’t actually exist?
Braced for a worst-case scenario when it was actually a run-of-the-mill situation?
Felt incompetent when you were actually fully capable?
I finally faced what I had been dreading—and the thing that had occupied so much mental and emotional energy for months—and it took me less than an hour to complete it.
Less than an hour.
Months of dread.
One hour of work.
The taxes were never the problem.
The story I was carrying about what it meant if I needed help was.
Shame is sneaky like that.
How many conversations are you avoiding?
How many decisions are you dreading?
How many things are you carrying alone solely because you haven’t said them out loud?
The story we carry is often heavier than the task itself.
And shame loses power the moment it has company.
And maybe that’s your invitation today.
Identify the thing you’ve been carrying—thing that makes your stomach tighten every time you think about it.
Then tell someone. Say it out loud. Ask for help.
Because the moment we stop carrying something alone—and speak our fear out loud—the shame loses its power...and we regain ours.
If this resonated, let it be your reminder that you were never meant to carry everything alone.
And that’s exactly why we’re building the ecosystem we deserve inside Hype Women.
Not as another place to perform.
Not as another audience to impress.
Not as another task on our to-do-list.
But as a community where women can be honest about what we’re carrying.
A safe place to ask for support—and to remember that we don’t have to navigate life, business, motherhood, leadership or healing on our own.
If you’re ready for that kind of community, we’d love to welcome you.
xoxo,
Erin